I love that my hair is long enough to pull up into the perfect messy bun. No strays or stragglers.
I love that I opened this window on my left side and a burst of warm summer wind hit me in the face like a pleasant surprise.
I love that my Pandora is playing all the songs I like so I don’t have to waste any skips.
I love that my dog always knows just when I need her to snuggle up against me and be my friend.
I love that my babies are running through my house having fun despite me yelling at them to knock it off.
I know I will miss their mess and noise someday and I only need a moment of intentional gratitude to sober me.
I love that when I stop and take notice, I am overwhelmed with things to say thank you for.
The hardest thing about being a realist is that you’re really only a pessimist in disguise.
To halt myself from traveling down the familiar gloomy tracks and force instead a stroll down a brighter path…
Well, I’m more comfortable sitting in the shade.
My disappointment hangs from my body,
heavy and always inconvenient.
Protecting me from pain but hard to ignore…and if I’m being honest it only makes it worse.
But I am told to be in the light as He is in the light…
and I was.
Spent the fullness of time feeling welcomed and alive.
Now here we are again, and back to being the last resort.
Wasn’t quite ready to come home to the norm.
I have amends to make and bridges to burn, like calories…and we all know how good I am at that.
Frames and galleries of words that crowd my heart, and the space is getting limited in these chambers.
Bolted with hardware and welded to my arteries.
This kind of blockage requires a skilled surgeon.
Blood pumping through paths I’ve carved out to survive.
A masterpiece.
A bypass of emotion.
Today is a new day that has been made for my gain,
taking a new route and a fresh way.
I will choose gratitude.
What other choice do I have?!
I love that I have mastered the art of coming full circle, even when it seems pointless.
I love that a deep breath and honest words can set my focus strait.
I love that I will turn off this computer and leave the tears behind and get back to living.
Excuse my ramblings today. I just needed to rein it in.
Natasha Ortiz
❤