I am sitting here on my porch, enjoying the morning sun and the rare occurrence of not being rushed on a school day. It’s Friday, the weekend is spread out before us. It brings with it feelings of relief because we know for the next two days we can breathe and relax. Weekends are glorious and I am antsy to partake.
Recently, my early mornings are set apart for reading, writing, prayer and quiet before the craziness of the day starts. I like to compile my blog posts to reflect whatever it is I am currently working through, sharing my truth with anyone who might relate. Pretending to be important or an artist with my self centered musings. Sitting outside feeling fresh; piecing together my “insightful” thoughts about how hard it has been the past week or so in my “sober” living. The war that I’m waging with my body and food…the exhaustion of having to constantly take my inventory… work towards health and wholeness…blah blah blah. It all seems redundant after receiving a call a few minutes ago to be praying for a dear friend of mine who’s just learned she has cancer. Felt crummy and sick all week but tried to go into work after taking a few days off. Feeling worse and deciding to go to urgent care and within a short amount of time…life is turned upside down.
My heart sank. Suddenly all of my rubbish is dimmed by concern for a loved one. This is real life. No one is exempt. So many who suffer everyday. When I look up from my insulated point of view I can feel nothing but humility. But I also know that in these moments we are drawn in and tucked under our fathers wings. I know and have seen that in times of disaster there are tender hearts to help. In hardships, generous hands to give. In tragedy, arms to hold you while you cry. In sickness, prayers and support that you can’t imagine. Today, while I’m struck by the news of my friend, there is also a team of people running the Reno/Tahoe Odyssey (a huge race around Lake Tahoe) to help raise money for a young woman fighting for her life. How many more countless people are out there living life with people, good bad or indifferent? If we look past the fear, God will always reveal hope.
“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord : He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.
For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home.
For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands so you wonβt even hurt your foot on a stone.
You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!
The Lord says, βI will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them.
I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.β
(Psalms 91:1-6, 9-16 NLT)
Lana
I followed you hear via your comment on Rachel Held Evans. You sound fun so I’m following you now. I grew up fundamental but have only recently grown to question it all. Did you grow up in church?
mandimon
Hey!! Thanks for reading, that’s awesome! I Alove Rachel Held Evans…she’s an amazing author.
I have been a Christian since I was 17 years old, I’m almost 31 now. I have gone to the same church since then and fortunately it is a wonderful, small family style church where I have been allowed to breathe and grow in my faith. The difficulties I have encountered have been with other, well meaning Christian friends who have radical theological differences that I really didn’t even know existed until I was confronted with them. It forced me to really dig and find out the truth of what IT IS I BELIVE and not what everyone else was telling me was the truth.
Lana
Oh, that’s nice. I have always belonged to churches that did not let women speak, and I’m still struggling to find my way in the church somehow. I guess I don’t trust it? I love her too. She is a breath of fresh air, truely. See you around.
mandimon
I’m totally snooping around on your blog as we speak…girl, I think we’ll be fast friends!!! Lol π
Lana
Good, I need friends. π