“Action expresses priorities”. – Mahatma Gandhi
I saw this quote roll across my Facebook newsfeed this morning. I stopped and stared at it and allowed it to quickly pierce my heart like a paring knife. Swift little jabs and twinges of guilt in acknowledgment that my actions really DO express my priorities.
Sadly, this is nothing to be proud of.
Lately I have been busy getting ready for camp, a cousins wedding and my family reunion. I’ve been busy and I prefer it that way. I’m a gal that likes pressure and a deadline. But my ol regular ho-hum daily routine would express that my priorities are snuggling with my kids, napping, internet rabbit holes, reading (a ton) and basically anything other than housework, yard work, or a general beautifying or primping of myself in any way.
(Make-up? bahahahah! )
This is shameful to admit, but this is Realology so I am bound to divulge the dirty, ugly truths as much as the golden ones.
I have good days where I’m on point and have my stuff together and things accomplished with a fabulous meal bubbling on the stove when my husband arrives from work in he evening. But most days, I allow myself the funk. My sister says these may be the signs of a depression? Gandhi says they are an expression.
Who knows?
I’ve been pondering the reality of a “stay at home mom depression”. When I google it a ton of things pop up. There has even been a Gallup poll done on the topic. (Check it out: http://www.gallup.com/poll/154685/stay-home-moms-report-depression-sadness-anger.aspx ) I have had many conversations with friends my age, moms who stay home. Moms who don’t. It seems we all suffer from this in some measure. But nobody really wants to admit it may be them. None of us really want to share that we need help and even if we did we wouldn’t accept it. We want to conquer and reign victorious as women. We want to give our families and households the very best of what we can, so when the best we’ve got is microwaved leftovers we feel like losers.
Boo.
So, that being said, how do we turn our priorities around?
How do we stop the cycle of feeling bad about self, perpetuating slack off, perpetuating more feelings of self loathing (which in my case, leads to a food binge) which only fuels more negative fire…so fourth and so on?
Ladies, am I all alone in this? How do you combat these kinds of feelings and avoid this deadly trap?
Sis
lately I’ve been doing 20 push-ups every time I get the blues throughout the day, it’s kind of weird but it makes me feel better about myself and I think I get some sort of automatic endorphins or something from it.
mandimon
Ooooooh! That’s cool :)))
Danielle
http://www.mominthemirrorbook.com/?m=1
Saw these women speak at HFH- check out the book
Oxoxoxoxox
mandimon
Thanks Deej 🙂
Alexis
I have spent some significant time paying attention to the things that encourage and motivate me and make me feel good when I have done them as well as the things that don’t. It seems silly or too simple or something, but I know that in order to be a happy person I need to get enough sleep, exercize regularly, take time away from my kids on a regular basis to enjoy the company of a friend, and take time to do something I love on a regular to semi regular basis (i.e.: Read, or lay in the sun listining to the birds chirp!) I actually made a list of the “rules” for a happy life (only to be applied to me of course :)). When I find myself in a funk, there is ALWAYS something from the list that I have let slip for too long. At first it felt like a trap, like “poor me, I have to go to bed earlier than everyone else or my life sucks!” But it soon turned into a lifesaver! I began to be grateful that I know how things affect me and that I now have the power to make my life better! Going to bed a few hours earlier than I would like is a small price to pay for having a light spirit. And of course there are times when I break the rules. Like 1:00am trips to the Gold and Silver 😉 but even then, when I was tired and kind of bummed for a few days afterward I realized that I consciously made that choice, and that it was worth it! Looking at it this way kept me from sliding down into the funk 🙂 Figure out what your “rules” are…It has worked wonders for me 🙂
mandimon
I’m thinking about my list…thanks for the blog post prompt!
AnonCUZ
One of my favorite artists Fever Ray (Karin Dreijer Anderson) wrote her best works of music out of the depression and disconnect she felt to her new born baby. Now this is extreme, but in allowing yourself to ponder and meditate threw our issues, motherhood especially, threw art or writing (like your doing now) allows us to exercise these emotions and deal with them positively! _anonymous cousin.
mandimon
<3
Teresa
What helps me is music, dancing and sunshine.
mandimon
Those word describe you to a T 😉
karenperrycreates
I’m a stay at home mom and I have my ups and downs. I’m currently feeling good but about a year ago, I wondered if I was losing my mind. Looking back now, I should’ve gotten help but it just didn’t occur to me. It’s hard to tell sometimes if I’m just going through a negative attitude phase or if there’s something more serious going on. I hope that if it gets that bad again, I’ll recognize it and ask for help. Acknowledging it and reaching out is the best thing we can do!
mandimon
It’s good to know I’m not alone in these feelings 🙂